Awkward Moments
by Cats070911
Summary: Arresting Zorko the Magnificent did not go to plan. Now stuck together Tommy and Barbara have to navigate through some awkward moments until they can be freed, assuming, of course, they want to be free...
1. Chapter 1

**Author's note:** all usual disclaimers apply.

* * *

Tommy's head felt as if it had been cleaved in two by an axe. He tried to move but there was a heavy mass on his chest, and his right hand was pinned underneath him. He felt around with his left. The weight was a body. Slowly everything settled in his mind like muddy water being filtered through sand until one pure idea emerged. "Barbara?"

The body shifted and groaned. "Mmm."

Tommy's heart quickened as he started to remember. They had come to question the magician, but the tent had slowly filled with green mist that smelt of exotic Asian spices. They had tried to find the exit, but he could not remember escaping. All he could recall was Barbara asking if he was hungry and fancied tandoori for dinner. "Barbara, are you okay? Barbara?"

Barbara resented the interruption. In her dream, she was on a warm beach underneath the shade of coconut pines, and Tommy had his arms around her. He was about to kiss her; she was sure of that. Perhaps they might make love in the warm, azure ocean. He kept calling her name...

"Barbara! Wake up!"

She was being pulled back from the beach. "No! Let me stay. I want to..." Too late. "What?" she asked angrily.

"I said are you okay?"

She tried to sit up, but her arm was trapped. She yanked it hard, and her boss cried out in pain. Barbara used her free hand to trace down her arm in the dark. "Bloody marvelous. We're handcuffed together."

Tommy untangled his body from Barbara and tent pole that was lying across them. He struggled into a seated position next to her. "Next time we try to question Zorko the Magnificent we're bringing a regiment of SAS."

Barbara laughed despite the situation. "Are you hurt?"

"A massive headache but otherwise I seem fine. You?"

"Same. I'm very thirsty. I'd kill for a beer."

"Right now I'd prefer a key for these." He jiggled the hand manacled to Barbara. "Can you see anything?"

"I'm not a cat. I can see about as much as you."

"I think he collapsed the tent on us. Feel around and see if you can find a way out."

Weaving their way between fallen poles, scattered circus paraphernalia and flaps of canvas in the dark was testing. They bickered about the direction and struggled to get one small and one long body connected at their wrists, moving together. Fifteen minutes later they were lying exhausted on the grass looking up at clouds drifting across the fading light of a late evening sky. "Can you get these off?" she demanded.

"I'll wave my magic wand, shall I? Abracadabra!"

Barbara gave him a withering glance. "You don't have a key or something?"

Tommy sat up unintentionally pulling Barbara up with him. "No. I must have left my lockpick set at home. Why would I have a key for handcuffs?"

"I assumed they were yours. They're not mine."

"Or mine! I don't carry handcuffs around with me." He bristled at her unspoken accusation but relented and examined them. They were an extra heavy duty set and did not appear to have a lock. "They must be used in his act. There has to be a secret release point."

They both twisted, pushed and pulled but the handcuffs remained in firmly in place. "Let's get back to the Yard and have someone get these off," he suggested.

"How are you going to drive with me handcuffed to your right wrist?"

Tommy glared at her. "We'll have to walk."

Barbara grumbled as they stood then started to move towards the exit of the park. They moved awkwardly, out of step with each other. Tommy stopped abruptly and with Barbara still moving forward both felt a searing pain in their shoulders. "We have to work together Barbara."

"I know. I'm trying to walk in step with you."

"That's the problem. We have to walk out of step, so our opposite arms move together."

They tried again with the same result. Tommy twisted his wrist and took Barbara's hand. It was much softer than he imagined but she immediately tensed.

"What are you doing?" she demanded.

"Relax Barbara, let your subconscious take over. People automatically walk together when they hold hands."

"I wouldn't know."

"You mean you've never thought about it before."

"No, I mean I haven't walked holding hands since I was six!"

Tommy was surprised, but when he looked at her, he could see the concern in her eyes. He gave her hand a reassuring squeeze. "Then think of me as a schoolfriend being made to walk back to class."

"Every girl in class would at been fighting to walk with you."

"Not at six. I took a long time to grow into my ears."

"Really? You looked like Prince Charles?"

"No, not that bad but I was terribly shy and awkward."

"I doubt that." She shook her head and laughed, but encouragingly her hand relaxed in his grip.

"See we're walking straighter now. Besides, if we hold hands we won't look as suspicious walking through the city."

Barbara had to admit they were now walking more comfortably. "We can't hold hands near the office. I'll never live it down."

"Why not?"

"You know why not! I'm not having anyone think I'm one of your conquests."

"I do not conquer women, Barbara. I've never been with anyone who did not want that, and I doubt very much that anyone would believe I could ever conquer you."

Barbara frowned. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"That you would never be won over by my good looks, my money or my title, unlike many women."

"Tickets! Tickets, please! Roll up to see the man with the world's biggest ego! Tickets!" Barbara cried out across the grass pointing at Tommy with her free hand.

A few people walking through the park turned to look then chuckled thinking it was a lover's tiff. Lynley pulled her towards him, laughing at her. He looked into her eyes and went silent realising he had been about to kiss her. Shocked and unsure what to do, he straightened himself and pretended nothing had occurred. "Point made, Havers," he said sternly. His ears burned red, and he wondered if she had noticed. She was almost smirking, so she probably had not read his intention. He relaxed slightly. "But so was mine. You're impervious to my charms."

They walked silently down the path, both lost in their thoughts. Barbara was enjoying the envious and uncomprehending glances from some of the women they passed who obviously wondered why a man like Tommy would be holding hands with someone like her. He never would of course, if he had a choice, but they would never know that. For ten minutes she could pretend and let them wonder how a dowdy Acton girl had snagged a lord.

Tommy was unaware of the world or the people in it. He was trying to understand why he had wanted to kiss her; why he still wanted to kiss her. How could he be attracted to Barbara of all people? She was his irascible and feisty partner, the woman he had spent the better part of ten years arguing with; the woman who had just accused him of trying to conquer every woman he met. If he were truthful, there had been many women he had bedded just because he could. He had no pride in that. He knew his weakness for physical connection, but it had been months since he had thought about being with a woman. His sergeant would never believe him, but he had been celibate for nearly a year. The experience with Julia had affected him more than he had let on to anyone, even Barbara.

What he felt now was different. Barbara's hand in his seemed natural. Physically it was like holding any other hand, but emotionally it was as if they had created an electrical circuit that had brought him to life. He was warm and safe. He did not want sex but he wanted to enjoy the intimacy of kissing her. His feelings confused him. And after her little performance, he could see she did not return them. He sighed and gripped her hand tighter. Perhaps it was only the effect of the drugs they had inhaled. He hoped so, facing the other possibility was too much.

Barbara watched as her DI ran his left hand through his hair. It was usually a sign that he was troubled by something. "I'm sorry. I was only joking."

"What about?" Tommy felt he had missed something.

"About your ego. I know you weren't serious, Sir. Anyway, we're nearly there, and they'll cut us free, and we can go home."

"Via that pub. I'll buy you that beer while we plot how to capture Zorko. It's fairly obvious now that he's the diamond thief."

As they rounded the corner near The Yard, Tommy tried to let go of her hand, but Barbara held on. He looked down at her. "You're right," she said, "it is easier to walk. Everyone'll hear about the handcuffs soon enough anyway, so why should we risk falling over?"


	2. Chapter 2

Re the last scene below - this is called Awkward Moments ;)

* * *

Her faith in her fellow officers was misplaced. An hour later Winston had blunted three hacksaw blades without even scratching the cuffs. Tommy sent for a locksmith. The wiry man with bad breath and round glasses tried for an hour but had not found a keyhole or release point. After trying to prise them open and only succeeding in cutting Barbara's hand, Tommy banished him. They both vigorously fended off suggestions from Winston about using an angle grinder.

"We should visit Lafferty. He can x-ray them and see if that gives us any clues as to how to unlock it," Tommy said decisively.

As he drove the hapless pair to the morgue, Winston kept looking at Barbara in the rear view mirror. She wondered why until she followed his gaze down and noticed she and Tommy were still holding hands. They had done it automatically to walk to the car but had forgotten to let go. She felt a blush creeping up her neck. She tried to break free, but Tommy held his grip. Barbara watched Winston grinning at her. Surely Tommy must have noticed his reaction. Once she was out of these cuffs, she was going to strangle her boss.

Lynley knew he probably should release her hand. If she tried harder, she could get free, but he sensed her resistance was more of a show for Winston than a genuine desire to let go. The longer he held her hand the closer he felt to her. It answered many unasked questions and overcame objections neither of them had dared voice. Their existing bond was strengthening and morphing in a way that both terrified him and filled him with hope. He turned to her. She looked bewildered and uncertain, but her emerald eyes expressed the same desire for connection that he was feeling. If Winston had not been there, he would have kissed her. Instead, he squeezed her hand then wriggled his fingers around to press gently between hers. She relaxed her hand, spreading it slightly, allowing him to slide his fingers between hers and curl over her knuckles. Barbara looked down. For a moment he thought she was going to object until her fingers closed to mimic his grip. She looked up and gave him a shy smile. Tommy ran his thumb softly over hers. To hell with what Winston might think; he had to kiss her. He leant over towards her.

"Here we are," Winston announced unaware he had interrupted something important. "Let's see if we can get you two separated."

Inside the morgue, they had to wait until Stuart Lafferty, pathologist extraordinaire, finished a post-mortem. They stood silently in his office, fingers still entwined. "Why don't you go and get some coffee, Winston?" Tommy suggested.

"I'm okay thanks, Sir. What about you?" he asked Barbara.

She shook her head. She did not want to be alone with Tommy. In the car, the Earth had tilted on its axis. She knew Tommy had been about to say or do something that would change everything. Maybe holding hands the way they were now already had altered their comfortable world but she needed time to think. He had never shown the slightest interest in her before. Being locked together was the only thing that had changed. "Do you think he drugged us?"

"In that mist?"

"Yeah."

"Well it knocked us out, so it must have had something in it."

"Yes, like an anaesthetic." Her attempt at humour fell flat so she added a pathetic little laugh. "Well, no signing of contracts or making life changing decisions for forty-eight hours then!"

They stared at each other then Tommy nodded. He understood her concerns. What he felt, what perhaps they both felt, might not be real. It certainly felt real but his ever-cautious partner was right, they should not ruin everything without being sure.

"So, you are bound together by the sympathy of your antipathies!"

"Stuart." Tommy held up their hands. "Stop paraphrasing Joyce and get us out of these."

"Who's a grumpy DI then?"

"Stuart," Barbara warned.

Lafferty shrugged then turned on some music. "Thought some heavy metal might be appropriate."

After enduring more quotes about being bound together forever, Lafferty finally x-rayed the cuffs. "Impressive," he called from beyond his protective screen.

"Why?" Tommy asked as Lafferty brought over the images. He hated being beholden to the smug Irishman.

Lafferty's tone became serious. "There's a release mechanism inside that must be triggered by a remote of some kind. Wi-fi, maybe Bluetooth or radio waves like a garage door remote."

"You can crack it, though?" Barbara asked anxiously.

"Probably quicker to cut them off," Stuart replied.

"I tried that," Winston told him, "three blades made no impression."

"I have a diamond saw. It shouldn't take long."

Stuart's saw was like a baby angle grinder. He put on goggles, covered their hands with towels and made them look away. "Should only take a few minutes."

Tommy missed holding Barbara's hand. He could feel the warmth of hers on the back of his, but it was not the same. He could not articulate his feelings, but they were there, elusive and irrational. It made no sense to him that after so long together as partners and friends that in the space of one afternoon his feelings for her could have changed so abruptly but they were real, of that he was positive. As Stuart grunted and cut into the metal, Tommy tried hard to convince himself that kissing Barbara was a dangerous idea. She had clearly warned him off, but regardless of logic, the desire remained. In fact, it only intensified the more he thought about it. "How much longer?" he asked impatiently.

Stuart shut down his saw. "I don't know what material these things are, but the saw barely scratched them."

"What?" Barbara had had just about all she could take.

"They must be some sort of chromium or magnesium steel alloy. These are crafted from the hardest metal I've ever seen."

Tommy grimaced. "Small comfort to us. What will cut it?"

"A laser possibly."

Barbara felt her anger rising to the point where she was about to explode. "Possibly? Only possibly? We can't stay like this Stuart! It's...torturous."

Stuart looked from one to the other. "I understand. I could arrange something with the university. They have one."

"Do it," Tommy snapped. He saw the stress on Barbara's face. "Barbara, it'll be okay." He took her hand then covered it with his other hand. "Look on the bright side. There are worse people to be handcuffed to." She did not reply.

Stuart came back a few minutes later. The first thing he noticed was that they were holding hands and both looked uncomfortable. _So, you two have finally realised!_ He could not hide his smile. "I have some good news and some bad news."

"Bad news first," Tommy said firmly.

"The laser is broken and won't be fixed for three days."

"Three days!" Barbara exclaimed, adding a word that earned a frown from Tommy.

"What's the good news?"

"There's a laser in Oxford that we can use tomorrow."

"Not tonight?"

"No, afraid not. My suggestion is that you go home and get some rest. I'll pick you up at seven o'clock and drive you up. Where will you stay?"

Barbara shrugged. Tommy's house was far more comfortable than hers. "Belgravia," she replied.

"Okay. Winston, can you take them there while I finish up here?"

"Sure."

As they began to leave Tommy fidgeted anxiously, "What's the matter?" Barbara asked.

"This is awkward...but I need the bathroom."

"Can't you wait?"

"Not much longer."

Barbara groaned. "Alright."

Winston stood guard as they entered the Men's. Barbara had seen urinals before, but the sickly smell of the yellow deodorant blocks sitting in the drain made her gag. "Hurry up," she ordered.

"Yes, ma'am. Close your eyes."

Tommy let go of her hand and began to move his right hand towards his fly. Barbara pulled on the cuffs and jerked his hand away. "Use the other hand," she barked, much to his amusement.

"Ah, yes. Of course." Tommy struggled with his left hand to lower his zipper and position himself. It was incredibly awkward but eventually he managed, and he tried to pee as silently as possible. He kept checking Barbara to make sure she was not peeking, but she had her eyes clamped shut, and her face turned away. It was hard to know who was more embarrassed.

"All done," he announced as he re-checked his zip.

"We have a problem," she said as he washed his hand.

"What?"

"Thinking about it has made me need to go."

"How?"

"Exactly! But I really need to."

"A woman in the Men's is one thing, but I can't go into the Ladies. You'll have to go here, in one of the cubicles."

They exchanged embarrassed looks. "Okay but I have to use both hands."

Tommy was aghast. "Why?"

"To undo my jeans and lower my..."

"Arrgh. Mmm. Just do it, Havers."

Barbara selected a cubicle and checked it had paper. "Close your eyes."

Tommy closed them and put his left hand over them as insurance. "Be as quick as you can."

She smiled at his behaviour. He was clearly more disconcerted than her. She held her jeans with her left hand and used her free right hand to undo them. She then hooked both thumbs in her pants and pulled them down with her jeans. Tommy's hand was a tense fist beside her. He was making every effort to ensure nothing brushed her accidentally. "I have to sit now."

Tommy faced the wall and leant over sideways as she sat. He could tell she had her arm extended in front of her. He tried not to listen but in doing so, every sound became clearer. He wondered if he should whistle but thought that would be rather ludicrous. Finally, he heard her tear off toilet paper. His ordeal was nearly over.

Barbara stood then realised getting dressed was harder than getting undressed. She slowly pulled her underwear and jeans back into position using her left hand. "Um...I have to use both hands."

Tommy swallowed hard. This was very unnerving. "Okay," he said as nonchalantly as he could muster.

Barbara hurried and in doing so forced his hand against her leg. She quickly moved it away. This was just too much.

Winston had been trying hard to hear what was happening in there. They had been there far too long. He entered just as they came out of the cubicle. "Oh...argh...sorry...I... Is everything okay?"

Tommy grunted. "Yes. Barbara needed to use the bathroom too. Is the car ready?"

Winston tried to look serious as they pushed past him. He could only imagine how mortified both of them must have been and yet they still had to navigate the night. He secretly hoped that this would help them understand they were meant to be together.


	3. Chapter 3

Doing everything with his left hand was starting to annoy Tommy. He struggled to unlock his front door while Barbara waved her free right hand at him. "I can help you," she said, "wasn't it you who said we had to work together?"

"Got it." He pushed the heavy front door open and let her step inside. He kicked the door shut and slipped off his shoes then waited while Barbara stood on the back of her trainers to pull them from her feet. He smiled as she tried to push her sock over to hide the hole her toenail had created. "Sorry, I'll be less independent next time."

"Yeah, I doubt that. Are we going to stand in your hall all night?"

"No, of course not. Right, dinner first." He started to move towards his kitchen. Barbara had insisted Winston stop and buy them Indian takeaway. At least it would be easier to eat than something needing both hands. "And I have plenty of beer in the fridge for you."

"One, two, three," she said making a game of working together to lift the bags of takeaway onto his kitchen bench. "Plates?"

"Pantry, middle shelf."

"Cutlery?"

"Top drawer, beside the dishwasher. There shouldn't be any underwear in there today. Do you want a glass for your beer?"

"Very humorous. Bottled or canned?"

"Bottled. Lager or ale?"

"Ale. No glass."

Tommy smiled as he watched her fossicking in his cupboards. Walking together was now effortless. Holding hands had become automatic for them, and they moved in synch around his kitchen. One simple act had altered their behaviours since the excruciating awkwardness of the 'bathroom incident' as he now thought of it. To his surprise, Barbara had re-taken his hand when they had been sitting in the car. Tommy knew he had been sulking. The ignominy of the bathroom incident and the impending difficulty of spending the night together piled on top of her rejection had sent him spiralling into one of his darker moods. Barbara had swept it away when she rubbed her thumb against his palm then took his hand. He had looked across to see her smiling softly, her eyes full of understanding. It was then that the words first formed in his mind. Three simple words that would change his world if he uttered them. Three little words that held his future. Three powerful words that freed him.

Wanting to kiss Barbara had shocked him. Wanting to tell her he loved her did not surprise him nearly as much; somehow he had always known but once said, those words could never be retracted. He had to mean them, and he had to mean them forever. That scared him, not because they were not genuine but because they were real - wonderfully, maddeningly, enticingly real. It would be an ungainly, difficult, even frustrating love but with Barbara, it would be enduring. He had leant across the car to tell her when Winston had again interrupted him by asking what they wanted for dinner. Now, as Tommy held the boxes steady while Barbara peeled off the lids, he wondered if he should just tell her how he felt.

"I'm starving," she said, "these smell great." He had his answer; he would wait.

Barbara tucked in as if she had not eaten for days. It was only when she reached for some roti that she noticed he was struggling. "Can you manage?"

For the third time, a piece of curried chicken evaded capture. "Might be easier for me with a spoon."

Without thinking, Barbara stabbed the errant chicken with her fork then held it to his mouth. Tommy grinned and closed his lips over the meat. Colour rushed to fill her cheeks, but she had to bluff it out, pretend it was normal. So she picked up another piece, with some rice and ate it herself. Tommy put down his utensils and picked up some roti. He took a bite then offered some to her. She was tempted to pass him a spoon, but his soft brown eyes mesmerised her. She gathered some rice and meat and fed him another bite then pulled a strand of roti free with her teeth.

They often stole food from the other's plate, mostly chips, but sharing their meal was something Barbara found intimate and almost sensual. Their heads had moved close together, and it was easy to forget that they were still holding hands. That had become routine so quickly that she could not imagine ever sitting or walking with him again and not taking his hand. "I enjoyed that," she told him as they ate the last of the curry gravy. _Far more than you'll ever know!_

"Me too."

Neither of them had moved. "Sir..."

"Tommy. I think, given the circumstances, you should call me Tommy."

"I... don't think I can."

"Try. Just relax and try. We're friends aren't we?"

"Yes."

"Then try, please. Do you want to watch TV?" Tommy had no interest in television, but if she could not bring herself to call him by name after the way they had shared their meal, then he would feel he was taking advantage of her if he kissed her. He would never force a woman, physically or psychologically.

"Nah." Barbara had thought for one fleeting moment that he was about to kiss her. She berated herself for wanting that and being tricked by the drugs into thinking it was possible. Tommy was not the type of man to take advantage of the situation, nor was he the type to kiss her. "It's nearly midnight, and I'm tired. We probably won't get much sleep like this but..."

"You'd like to go to bed."

Barbara could feel her face light up like a flare. "Maybe you could sleep on the couch, and I could lie on the floor?"

"Barbara, that makes no sense when there's a perfectly good bed upstairs."

Barbara took a deep breath. "It's just that...I feel...awkward about sleeping in your bed...with you."

"What if we stay in the guest suite? Neutral territory?"

She nodded. "Yeah, okay. I'm sorry, but it wouldn't feel right to be in...your room."

Many reasons ran through his mind, and he could understand most of them. "I know, Barbara. We can't have showers or even take our clothes off so we can just sleep under a blanket in the spare room and pretend we're on a stakeout of something."

"I forgot about the shower. I must stink."

Tommy bent down and leant his cheek on her head. "No, you smell nice, like a warm puppy."

"A warm puppy? Can this day get any weirder?"

Tommy laughed. "Don't tempt fate."

After discarding the takeaway boxes, they moved upstairs. After the first bathroom incident, they were both less fussy about touching each other as they toileted before bed. Tommy gave his guest a fresh toothbrush. "At least we can clean our teeth."

Barbara brushed hers quickly and vigorously, but Tommy struggled to do it with his left hand. When he jabbed the brush into his gum, he yelped. "Use your right hand," Barbara said, "mine will tag along for the ride.

"Thanks." He leant down low over the sink and brushed forcefully. It was far harder than he had imagined.

"Thank you."

"She looked at him and frowned. "For what?"

"Riding with this. It can't be easy for you."

"We have no choice, Sir. You heard Stuart's only other suggestion. And it'd be my hand he'd have to cut off."

"No! It should be mine."

"Why? Because you're the gallant knight. It's my non-dominant hand trapped and your dominant one. If it comes to that, mine's the one that has to go."

"It won't, but it should be mine. There's no career for one-handed police officers, but a one-armed Earl has plenty of opportunities."

"No. I'd get a pension. I'd be fine."

"It won't come to that, but I'd look after you. You know that don't you?"

"What's the going rate for a hand?"

"Don't! This not about money Barbara. I'm serious, though; if anything ever happens to you, I will look after you."

Barbara smiled and nodded. "I know. Tomorrow we'll look back on this and laugh. We should get some sleep."

Between them, they spread the blanket over the bed. "How do we get in?" she asked.

Tommy surveyed the bed. "Hmm, obviously not from opposite sides. You get in here then wriggle over, and I'll get in next to you."

It took a few minutes, but they finally managed to align their bodies roughly parallel to the edges with their hands lying between them as they lay on their backs staring at the ceiling. "You forgot the light, Sir."

Amidst fits of laughter, the extricated themselves, and Tommy extinguished the light. He grabbed the television remote and switched it on so they could see. They repeated the process and finally settled into the bed. The earlier unexpected ease of feeding each other disappeared behind stiff formality as they both sat rigidly propped against their pillows, staring at the television mounted on the wall. Tommy flicked through the channels until he found the news. "And today in St James' Park a circus tent collapsed. No one was injured, but The Met is believed to be investigating the disappearance of Zorko the Magnificent, the circus's magician, who is wanted in connection with a series of daring diamond heists, here and in Antwerp. If anyone sees this man, please phone Crimestoppers on..."

"At least we didn't make the news," Barbara said with relief. "Imagine the headlines. 'Lord locked to serf'."

Tommy muted the television as he turned angrily towards her. "You are not my serf!" he snapped much louder than was necessary.

"Sorry," she said looking down at the blanket, "it was a joke."

Tommy squeezed her hand. "No, I'm sorry Barbara, but I get so tired of this class issue you put up between us. None of that matters to me. I only care about how people treat me not where they were born or how big their bank account is. You confuse me. I'm your closest friend and yet you keep these barriers up between us. You treat me with affection, but you won't say my name. What are you scared of Barbara?"

"Nothing." There was a long pause. "Everything."


	4. Chapter 4

Tommy rolled onto his side towards her. "Want to know a secret?"

"Mmm."

"I'm scared too."

"You? Why?"

"Because I don't want to get this wrong. I don't want to rush you but today's made me realise that we can't go on as we have been. We can't ignore what's happening between us."

Barbara held up their handcuffed wrists. "We certainly can't ignore these."

"We should be grateful to them. They've probably saved us a few years of skirting around the issue."

"We don't have an issue."

"We do, and we're both petrified of what it means aren't we?" Barbara sighed loudly but did not answer. "When you said everything scares you, I understand. I'm scared too - of the past, of the present and most of all of the future. People scare me because they're irrational. I scare myself because I'm not who I want to be. You're the only person in the world that doesn't scare me because I can count on you. No matter what happens you'll be there." Tommy reached out with his left hand and gently stroked her arm.

"You..."

"Shh. Let me finish. You might be giving me that disapproving, disappointed look, but you'll always be there, even when I pretend I don't want you. I only wish you understood it's mutual, Barbara. I'll always be here for you. When I'm with you, nothing frightens me because you inspire me to be the man I want to be. All your class differences and other excuses about not fitting into my world don't matter to me because you are my world. I wish you could feel the same way. I wish I didn't scare you."

Barbara closed her eyes and twisted to face him. They had sunk so that they were almost lying. She took a deep breath and let it out slowly. "I'm not scared of you...Tommy. I'm scared of myself; afraid of..." her voice trailed off leaving her fear hanging, unspoken.

His name on her lips sent shivers through him. He had waited so long, and it sounded like the wind on the cliffs above Howenstowe - strong, unbidden, eternal. He wriggled closer. Their handcuffed hands were pinned between them, and he tightened his grip on her hand. His left hand moved to rest on her cheek. "Barbara...what's holding up that last barrier?"

She pulled away. "We shouldn't be talking like this. It's just whatever was in that mist today, and these cuffs."

Tommy stretched his fingers across the back of her head. His touch was tender, but she was not going to escape until he had his answer. "No, it's not. Today has just made me realise what I want. You. I love you, Barbara."

Barbara made an odd wheezing noise. He thought for a moment she was going to choke. "Barbara?"

"Tommy..."

"What?" He watched her anxiously as she composed her thoughts.

Barbara took another deep breath. "You do inspire me. You're the only thing in life that keeps me sane. I'd have quit, or murdered someone without you. You set me free and yet you...tamed me."

Tommy laughed lightly. "Barbara, you are not tame!"

"Is that why you say you love me?"

"It's one of the reasons I do love you, but I need to know what you're feeling."

"Then stop interrupting me," she said. Tommy smiled and tried to look contrite. "I...I've been in love with you for years but...I can't let you into that last piece of my heart if you're going to break it. I don't want to be with you because you're lonely, or scared of the future, or you're settling for someone dependable. I don't want you to be with me because I'll always be here, I want you to be with me because you can't imagine ever being with anyone else."

Tommy's thumb brushed her cheek and felt her tears. He moved his face close to hers and whispered, "I can't."

"Me either."

Tommy had never been more nervous. They had been through weird and awkward moments today, but he did not want this to be one of them. He did not want to frighten her. "Barbara, may I kiss you?"

She nodded. In the flashing kaleidoscope of light from the television, he could see the apprehension in her eyes. He had to take this very slowly. He smiled and saw her begin to relax before he shifted his gaze to her lips. She licked them, but he knew it was an unconscious signal of her intentions. Tommy pushed a strand of her hair behind her ear and softly stroked her temple with his thumb as he leant towards her. Their lips met briefly before she pulled away. Tommy followed and pressed his lips against hers slowly and gently. A rush of warm air tickled his cheek as she exhaled sharply. Tommy broke contact then kissed her again. Twice he repeated it, each time feeling her lips soften from a rigid pucker. As he continued her mouth parted just enough for him to trap her top lip gently and caress it.

It had been nearly twenty years since anyone had kissed her and she could barely remember it. Barbara had expected Tommy to charge in, but he was slow and caring. She wanted to kiss him back, but she was not confident she would do it correctly. She had pursed her lips, but his mouth had been soft. She felt unskilled. She knew she would disappoint him.

When he paused, she sighed heavily, fearing that he was regretting every moment. She wanted to let him think she was enjoying it, so she ran her fingers up his neck and into the thick waves of his slightly too long hair. He groaned appreciatively, and the pressure of his mouth against hers increased. She began to imitate him. When he rubbed her bottom lip between his, she pushed down with her top lip and dragged it slowly across his slight stubble. Tommy's groan was louder this time, and it gave her confidence. They slowly repeated the kiss again and again. Now she did not have to pretend; her body was reacting as it should.

Kissing Barbara was beautiful. The connection and happiness he felt holding hands magnified a thousand times. Usually, Tommy would want to move faster. He enjoyed the taste and feel of a woman's mouth open to his own, but now he wanted to go more slowly. To him, their kisses were metaphors for their relationship which had started uncertainly but had slowly grown to be their reason for living. There had been moments of passion and stillness, fire and ice, but underneath it all they had never wanted to be apart. They had helped each other grow into better people. Together they would continue to grow, as partners, lovers, maybe even parents.

They continued to kiss until his lips began to feel sore and swollen. Tommy found the remote and switched off the television leaving them cuddling in the dark. The pace of their kissing slowed until they stopped. With only one free arm their embrace was limited but he loved the feel of her breath on his chest. "We should get some sleep," he said.

"Yeah. My arm's gone to sleep."

Reluctantly they rolled apart and lay facing the ceiling. After several minutes Tommy thought he heard her trying to stifle tears. Worried, he fumbled for some light and found the switch for the bedside lamp. "What's wrong Barbara?"

"Nothing."

"Such a dangerous word. When a woman says that, it usually means a lot is wrong."

"What if we wake up, and the drug has worn off and...you change your mind?"

"What do I have to do to prove myself? There was only a trace of the anger he felt in his voice. With his history, he could not blame her for being doubtful.

"You don't have to prove yourself. I just can't believe you...want me."

Tommy moved swiftly over her. He took his weight on his elbows and knees and placed his hands either side of her face. He smiled as her eyes went wide when he pressed his groin against hers. He bent down until his face was almost touching hers. "I want you desperately, in every sense of the word. I want to make love to you, to marry you, have children with you, grow old with you and eventually spend eternity roaming the heavens with you."

Her free hand pulled his head closer. Her tentative first kisses became bolder as the tension between them grew. Tommy responded but let Barbara lead. The first time their tongues met it was accidental. They paused uncertainly. Tommy waited, his mouth locked to hers. He decided to act just as she did and they met in a passionate tango.

* * *

"You two look exhausted." When Stuart arrived, they had brushed their hair, cleaned their teeth and had a cup of coffee. Neither had slept much.

"Have you ever trying sleeping with someone handcuffed to you?" Tommy quipped.

"Not handcuffed to me, no." Stuart winked at Barbara.

Barbara smiled at both of them. "It's very frustrating."

"Extremely," Tommy agreed, giving Barbara a cheeky grin.

Stuart watched them as they continued to exchange sly looks. The tension between them yesterday had been replaced by something else. He could not know that each glance was an echo of the night before where practicality had thwarted their passion. As he drove them to Oxford, Stuart struggled to label the electricity that filled his car. As he watched them in his mirror, he finally had a word - anticipation. _So, you did work it out then!_ Stuart was genuinely happy for them. "Not long now, and you two will be free."

Six hours later the high-strength industrial laser was still struggling to make a suitable impression on the cuffs. The metal was heating too quickly and reflecting the laser leaving them hot, angry and hungry. Teams of boffins came and went away muttering about coefficients and tensile strength. Men and women in safety glasses and crisp white lab coats poked and prodded at them.

"Enough!" Barbara said, "I'm hungry."

Tommy laughed at the shock on the faces of the Oxford scientists. "Me too. I suggest we take a stroll down to somewhere I used to frequent as a student."

"Sounds like an excellent idea. Anything to get away from people staring at me."

The couple hastened along the road, gripping hands. Tommy steered her into a small narrow-fronted pub and ordered a pint and some chips. "Is the stable still here?" he asked the bartender, an older woman who had instantly recognised 'M'Lord Tommy'.

"Yes,' she replied knowingly, giving Barbara a wink. "Same password."

Tommy took the chips and Barbara grabbed the beers with her hands together. They trod carefully to avoid Tommy tripping with his arm awkwardly placed next to the beer. The stable was exactly that, a small stall for one horse situated across a narrow, cobbled courtyard. "Our sanctuary."

"Did you just hire us a room by the hour?"

"Yes, but it's not like that. Not with these damned things still welded to us. As I promised last night, there will be roses and soft music, silky sheets and all the time we need."

"And fireworks. You promised fireworks."

He stood in front of the door. "Open Sesame!"

Barbara started to laugh. The door swung open to reveal a small room, furnished simply with a small table and four wooden chairs. There was no bed, and no room to lie. Barbara's face flushed as she recalled her accusation. They started to enter but stopped and stared at their wrists. The handcuffs whirred and clicked before they loosened and with a final snap, fell to the ground. Barbara had to juggle the glasses to prevent spilling any beer. "Really?" she snarled, "it was that simple?"

Tommy bent and picked up the manacles and shoved them into his jacket pocket and with his hand in her back guided her into the room. He slammed the door as she put down the beers. He threw the plate of chips carelessly beside them and swept her into his arms and kissed her ravenously.

"What about the music and the soft sheets?"

Tommy pulled out his phone and made a quick call. He knew the best hotel in Oxford. "Do you still want your beer and chips? I've booked a room just across the road." He kissed her again. "Large bath." Kiss. "Huge soft bed." Kiss. "Two dozen roses scattered across the floor." Kiss.

"Fireworks?" Kiss.

"We have to supply our own."


End file.
